Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

[MoreSpeed]

Originally Posted by VwSweetHeart

LMFAO!!! That towel is awesome!!!!
Perfect Valentines gift for the man!! haha

I ordered one last night lol, I think it'll make a great gift

[Wildfire]

Banker viewing topless women caught out on Australian TV.....


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...ralian-TV.html

[Deuce]

Not sure if this is a repost... but how about that Clothing Drive!
http://link.brightcove.com/services/...id=63259762001

[MusicalGenius]

He's screaming because it won't stop accelerating. Hah hah.

[MusicalGenius]

That clothing drive was hilarious!!! In spite of Bud Light being horseshite.

[Ryan]

[MusicalGenius]

Got this email today, seems someone doesn't like the Slap Chop …

Ok so I got a slapchop.

This dirty sonofabitch Vince convinced me that this invention would save
time, and help me eat healthy.

fu*k Vince and his goddamn nuts.

fettuccine, linguine, martini, bikini...suck my weenie you douchebag.

Let me tell you what this holy terror of a kitchen utensil
does.....absolutely nothing.


Let's look at a few things:


1. This thing is made of plastic and has a sharp blade hooked to a spring
and a plunger.
This is a poor combination to begin with.



2. The slapchop is about the size of a coffee grinder, which means to you
need to slapchop size your food prior to actually using the slapchop. In
order to do that you need a knife, if I have a knife in my hand already I
may as well chop the fu*kin vegetable right then and there.



3. One slap for large sizes, 2 to slaps for smaller sizes, three slaps for
a fine dice....fu*k you.

Here's what it actually goes like. One slap, twist and pry on plunger
because vegetable is wedged in the cutting mechanism. Two slaps, still
fucking wedged and no smaller than the last slap.... why?
because the
fucking blade didnt actually cut anything..it just did a quarter turn with
potato stuffed inside. Three slaps, another quarter turn and now your
potato is wedged so far into the fucking machine the plunger won't come
out.

Now since the veg is stuffed deep inside this devil contraption you > must
now take the damn thing apart, easier said than done. Vince says > "its easy
as one two three"

FU*K YOU VINCE!

Its easy to take apart sans potato stuffing however once those blades are
full it becomes more difficult.



Picture this, a slapchop full of potato, the plunger is stuffed all the
way to the bottom so you can't undo the top part, and it won't turn enough
to pry the bottom protector part off.

Now keep in mind that this contraption has a sharp fucking blade in
it...so using your fingers to pry out the potato chunks is ill advised.
What do you do? Get a tool if course....now because you already had to cut
your vegetable to slapchop size you happen to have a knife close by.
It only makes sense to use that to dig out the jammed veg.

Ahem...at this point the slapchop is no longer a slapchop, it suddenly
becomes a spring loaded vegetable cannon!

As soon as you wiggle a tiny piece of the vegetable in question out of
harms way you can fully expect to get showered in large chunks of potato
(or onion, or peppers)...remember these are large chunks that fly fast and
hard....because this stupid fucking device hasn't actually CUT ANYTHING!


I am going to personally kill the man that invented this goddamn
thing...in fact I'm going to use it on his nuts....because Vince says it
works great on nuts...in fact so well that we are going to love his nuts.


I bet this stupid sonofabitch has a SNUGGIE as well.....you jonestown
punch making cockhead.

(if you don't catch that reference feel free to ask).




DO NOT BUY A SLAPCHOP.



I'm ok with the shamwow....of course its a rag so its pretty hard to fu*k
that up.

[MoreSpeed]

^^^^^^^^^^^^ LOOL!!!! that's fkn hilarious! good post

[Ryan]

its true.. my wife gave me on for christmas as a gag gift.. such a pile of crap! blades get jammed with anything you cut
.. i tried veggies, nuts,etc all suck!

just use a cutting board and a knife and safe the hassles

[MoreSpeed]

Originally Posted by Ryan

its true.. my wife gave me on for christmas as a gag gift.. such a pile of crap! blades get jammed with anything you cut
.. i tried veggies, nuts,etc all suck!

just use a cutting board and a knife and safe the hassles

I was going to buy one, from the Cross Iron Mills mall, they have that store "As seen on TV", and I was it there, thank god they had on on display taken out of the box, as soon as i saw how crappy it's made i'm like fuk no, that aint gonna cut shiet lol, so i bought the sham wow instead, works great!

[luunta]

Ahem...at this point the slapchop is no longer a slapchop, it suddenly
becomes a spring loaded vegetable cannon!

I woke my girlfriend up, laughing at this.

[MusicalGenius]

[Stonewall]

Audi: Green Police

[VW337]

Guess they didn't consider how the sun shines when they designed this bridge:

[Russell]

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&sour...84.43,,1,14.19