Random pics, jokes, & videos NSFW

[R_Ethug]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

That was epic!

"Dope" thread on Vortex.

http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=4583608

[longsock]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

That was epic!

"Dope" thread on Vortex.

http://forums.vwvortex.com/zerothread?id=4583608

that was awesome hahah

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

I really liked the almost empty 40 of Cap'n Morgans. Hah hah!

[R_Ethug]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

haha thats great

[P Arkus]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

lol awesome!

[longsock]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

I can't seem to stop laughing loll

[longsock]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

here's another

[longsock]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

[MusicalGenius]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

A couple oldies.

[R_Ethug]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

^ lol

[gaffer]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.





http://thereifixedit.com/

[VWSM]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

BRAKE & FRONT END magazine editor Andrew Markel passes along some of the best “one liners” that come from repair orders and the economy of language used by service advisors/writers. Here are a few of the funnier ones.

Service Advisor: Dead bugs on windshield.
Tech: Live bugs on back-order.

SA: Evidence of coolant leak found on passenger floorboard.
Tech: Evidence removed.

SA: Customer can not turn on car.
Tech: Can I see the customer?

SA: Brakes make the car stop suddenly.
Tech: That is what they were designed to do?

SA: Volume of tire noise unbelievably loud.
Tech: Tire noise volume set to more believable level.

SA: Suspect worn brakes.
Tech: Suspect you’re right.

SA: Driver says the engine missing.
Tech: Engine found under the hood after brief search.

SA: Vehicle handles funny.
Tech: Vehicle warned to straighten up and be serious.

SA: Heater fan hums.
Tech: Replaced with heater that knows the lyrics.

SA: Mouse in engine compartment.
Tech: Cat installed.

SA: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a dwarf pounding on something with a hammer.
Tech: Took hammer away from dwarf.

[R_Ethug]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

lots of win here

http://thatwillbuffout.com/

[P Arkus]

Re: Random pics, jokes, links, and videos.

When girls don't put out!!

This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says,
'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet
dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a
woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you
just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I
went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to
spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping
at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while
she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't
decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She
wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a
pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked
out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She
must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to
think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when
she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing
sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she
finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to
kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me
for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at
least that b*tch knows I'm smarter than her.